The Kindness of Singaporeans

"Singaporeans have a soft core ... you just have to look harder." Duke

There has been a lot written lately about how ungracious, uncaring and selfish Singaporeans generally are and frankly, it is nothing new and I am well sick of it. It is so sad that we have such poor self-esteem as Singaporeans but what makes it worse is when foreigners join in and slam the country as well. To be brutally honest, feedback is great but if things are so bad, then please, please go back to where you came from.

It is vitally important that I make it clear at this point that I am NOT a narrow-minded xenophobe. A good number of my students are foreigners and I am thankful for them as they add colour and variety to lessons; some of the students I am closest to are foreigners; I play soccer every Tuesday with foreigners, many of whom I consider friends and vice versa; I am on a floorball team with a number of foreigners whom I also count as friends; some of my best friends in church are also from outside these shores. I am well aware that I also come from a line of immigrants. However, the fact remains - It is never polite to insult the host when you are a guest. If it is really so bad here, then no one is forcing you to stay.

I digress. Today, I experienced first-hand the soft core of Singaporeans on the street and have come to the conclusion that a lot of what has been written is grossly exaggerated.

Earlier this evening, I was on my way to pick up dinner and birthday cards for my students. Before I could do so, I had to withdraw some money from the ATM. There was a short queue of three others before me. As the first person went ahead to withdraw his cash, he dropped one of his two ATM cards on the floor. The moment we realised what was happening, the portly gentleman in front of me and I both spoke up to inform the owner that his card was on the ground. That reminded me of an incident a month ago when I dropped a letter on the floor at a neighbourhood food court and the cleaner immediately called for me to turn around, so I knew that the ATM incident was not a random occurance. So much for the uncaring, selfish Singaporean.

After completing my transaction at the ATM, I went to the bookshop a few blocks away to pick up the birthday cards. At that moment, I realised that I had left my watch and my handphone at home. As I wanted to rush home in time to catch Sports Centre on the tube, I stopped and asked two strangers on the road for the time. Both obliged, and with a polite nod or smile after I thanked them. So much for the rude, unresponsive Singaporean. For good measure, I stopped a third stranger on my way back just to confirm my findings (reliable test, Science people!) and received the same response.

Admittedly, there are a number of bad apples which have spoiled the basket, but are we simply too hard on ourselves? Are we simply blindly believing that the grass, somehow, is greener on the other side? Well, I have two really bad overseas experiences to recount and maybe, after that, you will see that a lack of graciousness and concern is not exclusively a Singaporean trait.

After completing our military exercises in Australia, ironically the retirement destination of choice for many Singaporeans because of its friendly climate and friendly people, a group of us were out on the town having fun. Without warning, a car sped by and a group of Australian adults (not youths) threw eggs at us while shouting, "Chinks!" They were obviously racist and obnoxious and apparently, according to my seniors, such people are not uncommon in that area. I daresay that no foreigner has experienced such blatant insult and abuse on these shores.

Next, on my trip to Zurich for the Floorball World Championships, I was again out on the town during out rest days with my team-mates and one of them was an Indian gentle giant. At one point, we were obviously and had to ask for directions. Strangely, whenever my Indian friend approached anyone, they would ignore him and walk away. I did not receive the same treatment. Later, I found out from a Swiss friend that the biased treatment was due to a recent influx of a large number of migrant workers from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh and they were looked down upon and distrusted. Thus, even in one of the most beautiful and modern countries in the world, a lack of common respect and decency is alive and well too.

It seems to me that Singaporeans are not devoid of care or concern; rather, they are more reserved and less open in showing it. We are still a conservative Asian society that remains reticent and less prone to showing feeling or affection openly. Nonetheless, I think what is most important is for us to move beyond whining and complaining about other Singaporeans and do something about it. No country in the world is immune to bad manners or shameful behaviour; the key is to make sure we are not part of those guilty of these actions. As we complain about Ugly Singaporeans, we should make sure that we are not Ugly Singaporeans too.

Now, I wonder how many of those people who have spent so much time complaining have spent time ensuring, as best they can, that others are not complaining about them too?

X-traordinary People

"There is no such thing as an ordinary person." Ozymandias (Watchmen)

I caught Wolverine over the long weekend and, well, I loved it. Loved it so much that I will probably catch it a second time.

Ok, admittedly, the film-makers did take certain liberties over some of the characters and how they were portrayed but I have never been a big fan of Deadpool anyway.

It was really fun seeing how the special effects people managed to bring to life some of the mutant abilities of the various characters and, for want of a better word, it was really cool. (I think I am still young enough to use that word.)

In terms of storyline and plot, it was nothing spectacular and there were plot-holes here and there, but why nit-pick? It was an enjoyable movie which was able to sustain interest because it had a good pace and never felt draggy. In fact, I felt that certain scenes could have been longer.

Since I could remember, I have always loved comic books and the superheroes and villains who inhabit the world of ink and bright colours on the printed page. I still have a huge box of comics from the good old days in my room. Occasionally, I still venture into that time-worn box and pick out a few classics and re-live the adventures and thrills of the heroes featured within.

What is the attraction of superheroes anyway? Well, I think we love these characters because of their special abilities. We think these abilities make them special and extraordinary. By extension, we also believe that we would also become special if we possess these abilities and gifts. We long to be as agile and quick as Spiderman, as strong and powerful as the Thing or as courageous and determined as Wolverine.

Yet the biggest lie that we have all bought into is that we are just mere human beings and totally ordinary because we lack these gifts and talents.

I have come to realise that all of us are special because there is only one of each of us. To put it more spectacularly, God broke the mould after He made each one of us. We are all different and totally unique, with different personalities, sets of abilities and talents and traits. If we look at it that way, then we are all, each and every one of us, extraordinary.

The problem is that we spend far too much time looking at what we do not have that others do (looks, musical talent, athletic gifts, intellectual prowess, etc) than appreciating what we have that others do not. That is why we spend so much time trying to be other people and someone else and too little time just being ourselves.

However, the biggest question is - If you spend so much time trying to be someone else, then who is going to be you?

Sure, it would really be cool to have some of the mutant abilities of the mutants in the Marvel Universe. Personally, I would love to have the ability to generate a forcefield around me at will, making me practically invulnerable.

But do we really need mutant abilities or superpowers to be extraordinary? I hope you see now, as I do, that the answer is really no.

The other thing we love about heroes like Wolverine and Gambit is what they choose to do with their powers. They do noble things like protecting the weak, standing up for what is right and staring evil in the face.

However, do we really need super powers to do all these things? Can we not do good with what we already have?

How about giving our time to help the needy? Helping struggling students/friends with their work? Reporting a crime/unlawful activity when we witness it? Going overseas to help build houses for the poor?

We have, built within us, the God-given and inspired capacity to do good and all we need are the opportunities and the desire and willingness to step out of the comfort zone. That is why I believe in the power, impact and meaning of involving my students in community outreach programmes or charitable causes. Once they see what they can do, they will want to do it again.

So, do we need to be super-powered beings to do good? Again, the answer is no and the truth lies with our correct and accurate perception of who we truly are and what we can truly accomplish.

As we grow older, we become more comfortable with who we are and what we have. That is when we find our place in God's scheme of things and grow to be who we should be. That is when we realise we are already extraordinary.

Having mutant abilities and super powers would merely be a bonus.